Advanced Maternal Age: Recovered Believer turns 187 (in Gay years) today!!

Happy Birthday to my special friend!!!

First Amnio Results, Nursery Decor, Classes, Planning, Paul Stanley

My life is so exciting these days. I am eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream and watching Little People, Big World marathon. I do this every Monday. That show rocks and maybe one day I will have a little person for a friend. NAF will be so jealous and so will Special K. I have received some complaint emails asking me to please refresh the blog with baby updates so I hope some of you don't mind. People are curious. My promise to update you on the Hoff will be kept!

The preliminary results for the amnio came back late Friday and they look great. Tears came to my eyes because I felt such relief. The final results will be back in 10 days and the doctors assured me that no one gets great results the first time and then bad ones for the second. We are coasting clear. The amnio was HORRIBLE and painful and I will never have that done to me again. TRUST. Still sore and I was frightened for the baby.

The baby weighs 7oz. How exciting!!

This weekend we are picking up the baby's crib and conversion kits in New Hampshire. It is a Bonavita crib which is real wood and not the MDF crap sold at Babies r Us for over 1K. I paid $399 and it's gorgeous. Since it's a Lifetime crib it grows along with the child (toddler bed, daybed, fullsize bed). Here is the crib (color we picked is a little darker). Click on photos to view larger.

The bedding we finally agreed on is this lovely organic bedding with soft cream, mocha and sage color. It is absolutely beautiful for a girl. I do not like pink rooms or bedding. Some pink is nice for clothes, but NOT on a wall. It is stressful for me as I had a pink bedroom growing up and it caused me to have anxiety attacks. Puerto Rican mothers do not understand anxiety issues or stress in children. My mother told me to shut the hell up LOL and deal. Ah, latin mothers. I know better though!






The wall color we chose is called Christopher Robin's Swing by Disney (Winnie the Pooh collection at Home Depot). The guest room is currently painted in a lovely Honeyed Almond but DL wanted to do something different and fresh. You can view the link here but the photo does not do it justice. You can see it on the left side photo below the moulding. It is a beautiful and soothing baby sage color. It is safe to say that earthtones are so comforting for me. The photo above gives a clue as to the color and how we plan on the nusery. I think it will be spectacular.

Dark Lord and I have some classes coming up at the hospital. May 31st we have Infant Care class. DL will be seen putting diapers on dolls and learning how to bathe and care for an infant for the first three months of life. There will be a photo somehow. July we have our prepared childbirth class for the weekend. I have decided to have an epidural for pain if necessary. Some weeks ago I visited the birthing center and chose NOT to have a natural childbirth. BARF. Having a baby in a bathtub is not appealing to me. Another exciting class is Breastfeeding and I finally chose my breast pump. Totally freaks me out.

Paul Stanley is just mentioned because I love him.

Having an Amniocentesis Test on Thursday!!

Due to my "advanced maternal age" and all the genetic testing I've had in the last month, results came back that I have a 1 and 40 chance of having a baby with Down's Syndrome. MELTDOWN. I am not so much afraid of the DS, it's the procedure of the amnio that really upsets me. That comes with a 1 and 200 chance of miscarriage if not done right. But the doctors at Maternal Fetal Medicine are real professionals and they assured me all will be well. Dark Lord is going to bring me tomorrow because I cannot possibly go there by myself and have someone put a large needle thru my abdomen and take out a small amount of fluid from the baby's sac and not want to pass out or have an anxiety attack. We have to meet with the genetic counselor beforehand, then have another u/s, and the procedure. 10 day wait for the results. I am more concerned about 10 minutes after and the next day. I pray nothing happens to Baby Vader.

Pregnancy has become a numbers game and I am so sick of people making me feel bad about having a baby so late in life. I did not choose this it just happened that I could not make it happen on my own and had to do IVF. The doctors make me feel bad with the constant, "well due to your advanced maternal age." I seriously could fucking scream. There are tons of risks with my age and I know that. But I am feeling constantly scared and worry about every single cramp and pain. Paranoid. Until these results come back and this test is over I am just not going to be able to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy.

We all know it was really DARK LORD who did this!!

"A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday. "

Read the rest here. I wish I was kidding.

Family Freak Shows

I seriously have NO fucking words for this. Mother's Day brings out the biggest freaks ever. Imagine one perusing through Family Circle magazine and seeing this fucked photo of Paul "Finger Paintings" Stanley and his hideous family. The wife is the better looking of the bunch. Evan, the older son, upset me with his fro and I will never forgive him. Paul has lost his mind.

Then I checked my email just now and what do I get?? An email from Discovery Health announcing the Michelle Duggar is pregnant with her 18th child. She is 40 and I am 38and bitch has 17 kids and married to a low-budget Ken Doll. How is her uterus still intact?

NAF, I am going to lose my mind. I won't lie, I mean I watch ALL the Duggar Family specials and read their website!!

Have an ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS Mother's Day!!

I am feeling special!! Cat and Tee, thank you for the beautiful Mother-to-Be cards, and my in-laws sent a lovely bouquet of yellow roses and flowers!! Dark Lord is taking me to lunch momentarily!!

Enjoy the episode, Hospital, from one of my favorite shows EVER - Absolutely Fabulous!! Patsy and Edina (Mother of the YEAR LOL) are the beesknees!!! I think Season 2 was my favorite season EVER. I'm sad this show is no longer on!!

PRESS RELEASE!!! Baby Vader is a GIRL!!!!

NAF, totally called it!!!

Here she is!! I had the ultrasound technician label the scans LOL for NAF and RB. For a better view of the foot turn it clockwise!!

Oh and check this out from RB's site LOL!!! ASS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA